Day Two: Nine Things

Day Two: Nine things about yourself

This is rather a tough one.  This is about quantifying yourself without getting into preferences (as those are meant for later in the week).

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1.  I wear black in self-defense.  Part of it is that I’m a little too distracted usually to bother with things like color-coordination.  I’m totally with Albert Einstein on that whole thing about having dozens of the same outfit to avoid having to think about it.

2.  I love my scars.  The dumb ones, the harsh ones and the weird ones were all moments in time that meant something, even if I didn’t know it at the time.  It’s kinda like the universe giving you a tattoo that you didn’t know you wanted or needed.

3.  I now feel more “worthy” of pursuing genius after finding out how strong autism is in my family.  I think that having an “excuse” to be truly different, to operate outside of the social rules (instead of feeling constantly like an ungrateful child, pointing out how bad Gramma’s bum leg smells), will provide me with the right mental foundation to accomplish something absolutely mind-blowing.

4.  I really only want to date and not get serious with anyone, but I’m not sure I know how to not be serious.  I’m a caregiver, and it’s hard to stop doing that.  Maybe what I really want is a relationship that progresses “normally” – but I don’t know what that is, exactly.

5.  If I don’t have a clear understanding of what you want, I will fill in the blanks.  Chances are, that’s not going to be what you meant, but since I’m very logical and literal-minded, you kinda get what you ask for – even if it’s not what you wanted.

6.  I will be getting more tattoos, and I don’t imagine I’ll ever stop.  I can see myself at 90 years old, finally getting that spot on the back of my calf filled in because it’s the only blank area left that will still look decent.  Each one is so meaningful, and at the same time, it’s so spontaneous when it happens.  I love it.

7.  The more I entertain an idea and explore it as a theory, the more it becomes a reality in my world – even if it’s not the same for other people.  This fascinates me to no end.

8.  The world is like a brilliant nearly fractal map of equations in my head, each person and element their own little logical statement.  When I ask you questions, I’m trying to define variables so that I understand you better.  I love simplifying, but I am cautious to do so because what if I’ve missed an aspect of you?  These equations are all multidimensional, completed only with sounds and colors and depth and texture and taste.  For instance, some people literally taste bad to me, some people taste wonderful.  I have learned that there is no correlation between my “taste perception” and my ability to connect or get along with them.

9.  Coffee is not a morning routine for me because of the caffeine – it is completely a comfort thing.  The smell of it, the taste of it, the heat of the first sip, all these things tell me that I am still connected to the universe, to the earth, and that makes me feel safe.  When someone brings me coffee – unrequested and prepared correctly – I feel more secure than at any other time, and those are the days that I can go out and change the world.

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Tomorrow: Eight ways to win my heart.

The original list is here:

2 thoughts on “Day Two: Nine Things

  1. Pingback: Day One: Ten things « The Normality Factor

  2. Pingback: Day Four: Seven Things « The Normality Factor

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