I heard back from Jackye. She said that Cassidy wants no other life than the one she has with them and that she doesn’t want to hear from me, so please don’t send any cards or letters or anything like that. “Don’t upset the apple cart.”
My gut says that there are at least two lies in her email. One of them is probably Cassidy’s, saying what she wants her mother to hear. The other… I’m not sure.
More than anything, I feel betrayed. I feel let down and angry because in the many people that I have known who were adopted, not a single one didn’t feel some desire to know something about their birth mother during the teenage years. I set up this situation so that Cassidy would never have to go through that anxiety and worry – that door has always been open for her. Did leaving that door open make it a non-issue to the point of desensitizing? Or is there something else going on?
I’m furious, but there’s nothing I can do about it. Three more years, and I can initiate contact. Three more years. Gods help Jackye if she’s been untruthful to either of us… though I recognize that that’s probably just my hurt feelings talking.