April 6: Someone who fascinates me

sixI really had to think about this one for a while because it’s kind of a weird word, “fascinates”.  Dictionary.Com defines the word as “to attract and hold attentively by a unique power, personal charm,unusual nature, or some other special quality; enthrall”.  There are so many things that this could apply to, people included, that narrowing it down is really, really hard.

Finally, I decided that the person that fascinates me the most is my son Daniel.

To me, the idea of fascination is impacted by a sense of never quite being able to understand the fullness of a thing.  Sure, that can be said about any other human, but with Daniel, it’s on a whole new level.

Daniel is both severely epileptic and severely autistic.  The former may aggressively enforce the latter, but, as with so many things about him, we can’t know for certain.  We’re mostly sure why he has both conditions – that waiting long enough for his lungs to develop to deliver him allowed his brain to be more damaged by the oxygen deprivation – but the extent and impact is still mysterious.

Daniel is non-verbal.  He’s only recently gotten to a point where he communicates in anything other than screams and throwing things, but when he finds something he likes, he latches onto it.  He does the same thing over and over again, he loves to spin around, he loves “Blue’s Clues”, and he loves squeezing things that make him happy.

But what really goes on in his head?  What does he actually see?  How is he experiencing his emotions, and why are they so far away from the outside world?  Does he see things when he has seizures?  Is he experiencing time slips or premonitions?  What if his consciousness is just too much for the interface, and he’s actually just fried his IO ports?

Follow ups

Daniel’s descent into ketosis went very, very well.

The storage unit is stocked up.

The house is gone.

The kids are with their various relatives.

I’m playing a lot of Draw Something and Words with Friends.

I started putting stuff up over at Banana Freckles.

Saint fixed my tattoo machine so that the peddle works now. ^_^

I’m making pot roast for dinner.

I’m not heavy enough to find out where the leak is in the air mattress.

I drawed a noodlecorn.

I also made a very awesome fuzzy blue punk scarf.

I will probably make a lot more of them.

I want more coffee, but it’s after 4pm, and I’d almost rather have a nap.

I’m going to go tattoo a melon for a while.

 

More shifting, less torque

I’m assuming that by the time this posts, I will be at the dealership, filling out paperwork.

No, it’s not a new car.  I’m finally getting into sales proper, selling cars.

Yes, I know, it seems like such an odd thing to do, but I have this crazy bohemian lifestyle thing going on, and many, many high-maintenance addictions.  There’s food, for instance.  I like to eat as much as three or four times a day!  And I’ve become so dehumanized that I even like sleeping indoors on most days, with air conditioning.

It’s insane the way my life has devolved into a shadow of its former carefree ways.  I know I fell in with a bad crowd when I stopped sleeping in trees and on park benches, but what’s worse is that I’ve even been a bad influence on my offspring, and they get downright dangerous if they don’t have access to things like running water.

Enough kidding aside, I’ve been trying like mad to get just about any decent-paying job I could, and this was literally the very best of the lot.  Yes, I have all the customer service and community management experience a person could ask for, but I can’t really afford to only make $18K a year doing it.

(Let me get this straight.  You’re putting me in Customer Service and expecting me to make your paying customers happy, keeping your business going, generating your revenue and profit, sometimes despite your crappy product, but you’re only going to pay me $10 an hour to do it?  Without any chance of advancement or raises within the first two years?  And no benefits because I’ll be considered a contractor?  Ooo, where’s your pen?  Let me sign with my “official” signature.  Yes, it does bear a striking resemblance to “here’s where you can kiss my ass”… that’s my Christian name.)

I’m sure I had to have mentioned this before, but I’ve noticed that for me (and I’m sure for billions of other people), when it rains, it pours.  This applies to the bad times and the good times.

The Bad:  In the last couple of weeks, Daniel decided that sleep was for wussies, so he’s been consistently sleep-deprived.  He started going off of one of his medications too fast – without the replacement medication strong enough to replace it – and he had to go to the ER via ambulance because of seizures that would not stop.  Then he got a spot of food poisoning, developed a nasty cough, and that turned into asthmatic-style bronchitis, so now he’s on a nebulizer every few hours.  Oh, and I didn’t take the job that I’d been waiting to start for a month (which meant not looking for work) because I found out that there was a high likelihood of getting screwed over, and they kinda neglected to mention at first that it was door-to-door sales.

Guess what I’m not ever going to do?

The Good: It seems that Daniel’s seizures are stabilizing somewhat, and we’ve gone from four or five major seizures a day to only one every few days.  There are still plenty of little ones, but they’re not a big deal.  Also, I applied for this new job on Monday, got a callback on it in about a half an hour, interviewed on Tuesday, peed in a cup on Wednesday, and I start today.  Also also, my Uncle Ronnie and Uncle Lenny found us again after many years lost to us, and we’ve started the long process of catching up.  Also also also, a new daycare provider literally landed on my doorstep, so kid-care is covered fantastically.  Also also also also, both Miles and Joseph are signed up for Gifted and Talented classes next year, and all three kids brought home straight As.  Also also also also also… the last piece of awesome is something that I’m still a little nervous to mention, so as not to jinx it, but let me at least say, I haz a happee.

And throughout all of this, I’m reminded and amazed at how much the universe conspires to assist me, and at how much things fall apart when I lose touch with my faith.  And since my faith is tied to my ability to express… emotions… shall we say… dating is something that I definitely cannot afford to let fall by the wayside.

yea…. I definitely haz a happee.

……..

Oh, yeah, and if you do need a new car, I’m over at Q Chevrolet Chrysler Jeep Dodge in Irving at I-183 and Carl Rd. ^_^

The downside is that I probably won’t be able to maintain my incredibly aggressive posting schedule as I have been the last couple of weeks, but I can say that I will make at least one post per week.  I hope.

So much change…

Really, this post is just an excuse to try out the new WordPress installation.  You know I love to try this stuff out on the little blog before I put it out to the real world…

That, and there are changes happening.  Again.  A lot.

As you may have already heard, we moved again.  Yes, the last time was only in February of this year.  Well, we kinda went from the frying pan into the fire with Daniel’s seizures.  We thought the main problem at the old house was heavy metal poisoning, and that was a problem, but… we were introduced to a whole NEW problem when we got to the new apartment.  The seizures roughly reduced, kind of, mostly due to a difference in the medication, but not significantly.  Our lowest count was around five a day, but normally, it was closer to twelve.  That’s twelve separate episodes, with each episode having anywhere from three to ten seizures each.

Around the middle of November, I took Daniel to the doctor for an emergency blood draw to make sure that the new medication we’d added in wasn’t creating the daily spontaneous nose-bleeds (I’m still not convinced that it wasn’t a factor, but they insist that it was fine).  Instead of heading straight home, I went over to Debbie’s house to drop off a new shelf for her (she really needed a little something right next to the stove), and on a whim, I drove around her neighborhood to see if there were any houses for rent.

Okay… it wasn’t totally on a whim.  It was fueled by the observation yet again that Daniel had few or no seizures when we were out and about like that.  Hypothesis: the apartment was, in some way, toxic.  Repeated exploration of this hypothesis has supported the potential conclusion, and frankly, my nerves couldn’t handle the waiting to get someone to sign off on it.  Every time I went outside to the porch and saw the 28 electrical lines running across the field next to the house, at least ten of which were specifically high-tension wires, I got a twist of fear and anxiety in my gut.

Well, I found a house, and literally the next day, I signed the lease, and we were completely moved in by Thanksgiving.  It’s a three-bedroom, one-bath in Irving, in the Art District, with a one-car garage, a drive-way, a huge backyard… it’s actually a little smaller than the apartment, but the garage totally makes up for it.  And the backyard.  It has a massive cottonwood tree that shades the entire lot – even the already-installed clothes lines.  I am definitely happy with it.

The floors are stone, which is a good thing because it means that there is less dander and no chemical break-down to deal with.  The furnace, water heater, and stove all run on natural gas.  The electrical system was updated recently to the most efficient model possible, and the insulation and drywall have all been replaced in the last couple of years.  The rent is a little more than I was paying before, but I suspect that my utilities will be cumulatively lower.

And the best part?  We have seen an immediate and significant reduction in seizures.  We’re talking only two or three a day.  There was one day that we had twelve, in fairness, but that was the day after the MRI (with sedation).  If we’re actively demonstrating that there was a direct correlation between an intense electromagnetic field and seizures, then it makes sense that we’d have to deal with that kind of fallout.  (In fairness, it could also have been the sedation and the fact that he didn’t really want to eat for a full day afterward, but that hasn’t produced as many seizures that I’ve observed.)

With this change, other things are starting to bubble to the surface.  Old yearnings are coming up, stories are starting to form… but at the same time, there’s almost a more fundamental drive coming forth.  Some time ago, I had a dream that I moved into a new house.  This might’ve been a portent for what we just experienced, but I got more of the impression that it was a symbolic move into a new mode of thinking.  I was getting rid of things that I’d inherited but couldn’t use, transitioning into a collection of things that had purpose and were beautiful – and were all of my choosing.  I wasn’t “saddled” with anything, it was completely me exercising my options.

Now, I want to make my real life match that.  I’ve been going through boxes and getting rid of things I don’t want or need.  I’m not being indiscriminate, but I am being practical.  There are all of these glasses and knick-knacks and dust collectors… they will be packed away in permanent boxes so that nothing can happen to them but they won’t get under foot.  Books that haven’t been read in more than three years are being carted off to Half-Price Books.  Boxes of things that belong to other people are being prepped and put aside.

I’m tired of not being able to move freely in my own space.  There will be much rearranging over the course of the next few months as everything decides where it wants to live.  I am preparing my home for the act of creation, for a phase of creativity, and I’m looking forward to what comes out of it.

Coming up for air, a general update

So much is going on, but some of it is slow and some of it is blazing past like crazy… sometimes it seems that the only thing that keeps me in the correct day is my calendar.

To bring those up to speed who have been watching:

Daniel’s neurology appointment last week went very well.  Dr. Susan is not an advocate of putting him on a ton of medications right off the bat, so we’re just going to increase the Keppra until we reach a certain point, and if it stops the seizures, we’ll keep with it until we need to change it up again.  All the work we’ve done so far with the diet and the supplements “saves us six months of guess-work” – we know they help, so there’s no “wait-and-see” there.

This weekend is the DOA Unnameable Film Festival, which will be showing Joe’s first short film, “Annotated“.  It’s a Lovecraft-themed festival, so wear your best tentacles.

I absolutely adore the new location for my Reiki classes, but it would be even better if, you know, more people showed up.  (I’m not bitter, just impatient. 😉 )  I had to raise the price a little so that I could pay for the space (now that it actually costs me something), and I’d like to be able to order more books.

Which reminds me that one lucky cuss will get the very first hardcover copy of “Reiki Your Leaves” if they get to me first.  It’s $35 and quite lovely.  (If I have no takers by the end of the week, I’ll probably keep it for myself.  😉  )  I should get that shipment in sometime today or tomorrow, so if you want it, let me know soon.  I’ll even sign it for you.

Let’s see…

I’m looking into fast-tracking my schooling so that I can finish my Bachelor’s early, and then I’m thinking about getting into video games more seriously by pursuing a Master’s in VG.  I’ve been in the industry for over five (six?) years now, it’s something I know well, and I have some really strong ideas of what I’d like to do in the long run with it…

And it makes me happy.  🙂

Okay, that’s enough of that, time to get back to work.  Mondays are Mondays.