April 11: Let me count the ways…

Describe your current relationship status (and views) in haiku, 17 stanzas.

In all fairness, this
is a special exercise
just for my husband.

When we got married,
we exchanged vows just like this,
seventeen haiku.

But why seventeen?
That’s how many syllables
are in each stanza.

That was a few years
back, in his mother’s backyard,
the sun was shining.

I was terrified
because I loved him, wanted
him more than my life.

I knew it’d be rough,
especially the first years,
but my faith stayed strong.

There were nights I would
have cut out my heart, if I
could stop hurting so.

There were days when my
heart wasn’t big enough to
hold the love I felt.

I have learned so much
about things I thought were just
silly fantasies.

He’s shown me support
means more than just some nice words,
but real commitment.

Even in the hours
when he is at his darkest,
I can see his love.

He is my go-to
when I am struggling in
my own deepest dark.

He is the first one
to hear my goofiest jokes
– and they’re all goofy.

He is my blanket,
keeping me warm in the cold
of the crazy world.

He is my cool lake,
calming my frantic, nervous,
spastic, anxious mind.

The moment when I
asked him to marry me was
the best choice ever.

The words “in love with”
aren’t big enough to describe
what he means to me.

Post in Haiku – yes, it’s real.

Why, might you ask, would
she try to describe her plight
in few syllables?

Perhaps the format
might take the sting from the words
and bring clarity.

It was supposed to
be only five days – it turned
out to be two weeks.

Packing up was not
the worst of it. Cleaning up
roach feces is gross.

Do adults ever
live like this? Someone call the
health department now!

Insanity seems
to run in her family –
I will dodge that one!

Where is personal
responsibility when
it gets that bad? Gone!

I felt bad for not
working more at the house – how
messed up can I be?!?

A day off for girl
time, another day for
sleep and making calls.

I wasn’t finished.
I could have done more. There was
still the camp sites left…

But that was enough.
I cannot ride big horses
nor wear that armor.

I did my best, but
was it enough? Should I have
stayed another week?

Hell, no! Caroline
was visiting this week, and
I would not miss that!

Maybe that is a
little selfish, but I had
my fill of crazy.

Between my mother
and my alcoholic ex,
I have had enough.

And now, we unpack.
Boxes piled to the ceiling
of the truck are home.

Shelves, dressers, tables,
chairs, fabric, beads, books, letters,
photos, ancestry.

There’s no affection
to my extended clan-tribe
before now, this trip.

Now, I can see them,
those than came before, that were
the lead-up to me.

My heart feels weird, like
there is loss where there was none
before – empty rooms.

A sore back is not
a bad trade for heritage,
but it is still suck.

Tomorrow, more things
to unpack and find homes for
on the shelves and walls.

And Frau Mao-Mao is
making herself at home with
me, Joe, and Joseph.

She’ll join the rest of
the family when the stuff
is where it belongs.

And now, to sleep, since
the mead is working to help
me relax some more.