Today’s the Day

For reals.

At 2:45 pm MST, we’re going in for the c-section. I haven’t had anything to eat or drink since midnight-thirty last night, and I’ll be going on something like sixteen hours without food or drink by the time all is said and done.

I will, however, have an IV that’s allegedly going to have a Protonic drip on it so that I won’t notice my stomach trying to eat itself. (A nurse just came in to verify that and she’s going to do the deed as soon as she’s back with the equipment.) (And now she’s back, and we hit a gusher, and it’s a darned good thing that Joe wasn’t here because he probably would have passed out.)

I spent almost thirty minutes up and puttering around my room last night, putting things in boxes, cleaning things up, making it easier for them to move my stuff into the new room once we’re all done in the OR. I’m getting a larger room to accommodate visitors, which is really awesome after that clown-car episode this past weekend – Joe, Nana, Lili, Miles, Joseph, Momma Lynne, Jae, and Dani were all in my microscopic little room, visiting, with the door shut to herd the Joseph and keep the temperature below 80. It was amusing… in a very crowded kind of way.

Yeah, I’m nervous, a little scared, but I’m in the position where I have to trust the people who are scheduled to take care of it and assume that everything will work out the way it’s supposed to – with me and Daniel in the pink of health and everyone able to exhale.

The bummer part is there’s only a 35% chance of being home in time for Thanksgiving. Delivering at 35 weeks is not so much the issue as the maturation slow-down he’s gotten from the diabetes. There really is no telling how much extra care he’s going to need to make him ready to go home. Now, if we DO get to go home before Thanksgiving, I’m seriously considering coming back up here anyway with some pies or cookies or something, just because everyone here has been so absolutely amazing and wonderful in helping me keep my sanity through this time.

And now, a major tip o’ the mohawk to my lovely Forumites, my awesome e-kids from the AmericanMcGee.Com forums who got together through the magic of the webtarnet and sent me an amazing hand-made card here in the hospital:

You guys are so amazing. I’ve shown every single person who came in here that card, and I’ve cried at least twice with just how much I miss you all and wish I could be there to let you know all of this a little more “in person”. You really are the very best community on the ‘net, and there’s no one can tell you any different, ever.

Now, I’ll be getting back to the serious business of trying to find something to occupy myself until it’s time to get carted off to the prep station. I’m probably not getting moved back until around noon, and then on to the OR at 2:45.

Again, please, for the sake of our sanity, PLEASE – do not call. We will call the people on our list in the order of family first then friends in whatever order. We also have an email list already put together, and there will be a bulletin in both of my Blogs, plus probably Joe’s as well.

Thank you guys so much for all your love, support, good thoughts, prayers, and understanding. I couldn’t have made it through this last three and a half weeks (let alone making it through the next however long) without it.

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Once again…

… Tomorrow is The Day.

Except that is The Day For Real because we’re not going to do an amniocentesis first. We’re just going straight in and doing the section.

They’ll get me ready starting at about 2:45 PM. I should be back in my room by 4:15.

The call-list is already done, as is the email list, and there will also be a post here and on MySpace.

For the sake of our sanity, PLEASE do not call. We’re going to have plenty of things to distract us here. Just trust us to get the word out as quickly as possible.

Who, me? Nervous? Whatever gives you that idea?

* jitters *

Still pregnant

For now.

Two more days. We had a weird strip from last night that gave several of the nurses cause of concern, but I don’t know if we’re going to do anything about it today.

I’ll probably post more later, but I was woken up several times through the night, and I’m pretty tired.

Note to Self:

1) Remind Joe to bring me the books that have arrived thus far…

2) Make a more comprehensive list of knitting needles I don’t have.

3) Stop scaring the nursery staff with consistent contractions – they WILL lynch you if they have to.

4) Work on NaNo, you lazy bum.

5) Ask Joe to bring you the camera cable so that you can post some FOs.

6) Maybe someone can bring a mug from home so that I can keep my pens and files and scissors in something that won’t get knocked over all the time.

7) Come up with something totally amazing and cool and awesome to make/bring/get for the incredible staff here. Has to be numerous, has to last several days, shouldn’t be customized too much, needs to be relevant and/or delicious.

8) Don’t forget to write the Thanksgiving menu.

9) Put a shout out to all our folks in the area to finalize Thanksgiving plans. Are you going to be off that day? Can we expect to see you? How many do you be? What dish would you like to bring?

today’s the day…

… that we all get to exhale for about fifteen seconds and then start holding our breaths again.

The amniocentesis came back indicating that Daniel is only just now starting to mature to the point where he could convert without being on a ventilator. If we delivered today, it would be an immediate trip to Denver, and there’s no way to justify it. Instead, we’re scheduling a definite section (minus the amnio to begin with) for next Monday or Tuesday. (I’ll run a couple of charts, see what the schedule looks like, who’s available, and update you then.)

Here is where I really hope I’m suffering from overwhelming fear and that I’m completely wrong: I don’t feel like we have another week.

I was looking forward to that nice, controlled, calm environment, with no pressure and no worries, just a routine procedure on an ordinary day. Instead, I fear we’re going to be facing a crisis situation with a number of emergency measures being taken, and that always increases the risk of Something Going Horribly Wrong.

How am I doing? Not great, really. I can’t lie – I’m disappointed, more scared and stressed out than ever, wondering how the hell I’m going to find enough to distract myself adequately for yet another week, worried about all the “what ifs”… I finally had to take a Vicodin to cope with the headache I gave myself from crying.

However, regardless of the fact that Mister Daniel has denied allowing the Fifth of November to be his birthday, he is still getting saddled with the moniker of Fawkes, both in honor of the revolutionary nature of his almost-birthday and of the phoenix by the same name. What better symbol for our little Dream than one that stands for life after death.

Please, for the time being, don’t call to see how I’m doing. When I’m ready to talk, I’ll let you know. As needed, I’ve left messages, but on the whole right now, I’d just kinda like to be left on my own.