… that transitions come with changes on many levels, and I’m going through more than a couple of them right now.
… it’s really hard to masturbate with children in your bed, and that is getting to be a real problem. Bed-time real estate is at a premium as it is, but MY bed is where Daniel and Miles sleep. There’s no one to pass them off to most times for real down-time – I might get ten or fifteen minutes at a stretch, and then it’s running off to see what the screaming and crying was about.
I need to come up with some kind of a “system” to get the Needs met. Maybe if I installed a lock on the bathroom door… I’d spend half my time getting trapped children out of there.
My house right now is about 1850 square feet. I have too much stuff. I’m planning on reducing it to where we could live in a spacious 1200 square feet. Yes, I really think I have that much stuff I can get rid of. The only problem that I’m running into at this exact moment is where people are saying, “Sure, I’d love to take that!”… and they live in Texas… or “Can you hold onto that for me?”… and they may or may not make it out to get this stuff, like, ever… So I have to schlep it all down to wherever we’re going, and then store it…
I feel like there’s something happening just under the surface. There’s something rolling and roiling under my skin, changing and transforming, and while I’m grateful for the breaking out of wherever I was before, I’m just a little bit scared of what comes next.
It’s a good thing, though, only because I choose to use whatever changes come for the good. That is an important distinction: why fear change when it is your choice how to use it? Is it possible to change in a way that makes good decisions somehow unappealing? Really think about that for a minute…
I need to shower and get out of the house for a little while, and then come back and do some more un-re-packing.