Working the numbers

Dear Universe,

I’ve received your message that you want me the hell out of Wyoming, and I accept and agree that it’s a great idea. However, I’m a little confused as your manner suggests a less familiar method of management as what I’m currently accustomed to experiencing.

To wit, a good leader/boss generally assigns tasks according to an employee’s capabilities and resources. In this particular case, I’m grateful that you find my resume and performance qualifies me for this “getting out of Wyoming” task, but I’m a little concerned about the “resources” aspect. After having gone over the numbers a few different ways, I’m not convinced that your concept and my concept of a successful completion of this task are the same thing.

I also received your amendment that I need to downsize my current allotment and do more with less, and while I am in no way against this, there are certain aspects of this project that are not meeting with realistic expectations. For instance, while I could conceivably reduce my available items to fit into a three-bedroom apartment without too much difficulty, I’m still at a loss as to how to finance this part of the project. Numbers are numbers and are generally not explicitly negotiable when it comes to product versus payment. Any guidance or direction you might have on this point would be wonderful.

All that having been said, I did want to say “thank you” for assigning an excellent team to help me with this endeavor. They are still a little raw and “wet behind the ears”, but I’m finding that they take direction well and come with a wonderful set of perks. Given as how I’m also supposed to look after this team through the course of this project, I’m sure you can see that getting the “resources” question answered quickly would be most beneficial.

I’d like to get just one more point of clarification, if I could: The time line that you’ve assigned for this is alternately vague and strict. The preliminary deadline seems a little too aggressive to be practical, while the opposite answer of the project being open-ended is not consistent with the other memos I’ve received of late. If there are other circumstances that I should be planning around, a heads-up on that would be wonderful.

Thanks so much for the great work, and I really enjoy working with you. Here’s to many more years on your team.

— Me.

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Technically, the hard part is getting the truck, getting the deposits, and moving. Once we get there and get established, it’s not difficult to get a small house or even a large apartment AND get ahead. We’ve done more with less in the past. Now, if I can just solve this ONE little problem…

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