You betcha

 

Yes, I deleted my MySpace.Com account. Why? Because I never used it, it was adding to my stress, and the whole interface sucks. Sure, you can customize it out the wazoo, but why encourage talentless hacks by leading them to believe they turn out good design? I’m not saying that everyone that put together a theme or skin on there was a talentless hack, but there were a hell of a lot of them.

And I cannot handle reading webpages that I have to have muted to read. The music? Don’t like it. Never will. I’m going to listen to my own music when I surf, and I’ll look up music when I want to listen to something else. Auto-play is bad netiquette.

I’m taking a small break from making a gift for my mother-in-law. Tomorrow, I’m leaving for Texas to go get the Irish Wolfhound from my bio-mom’s house, and also to help my youngest sister Dani and her fiance move up here for a little while. While I’m there, I’m taking my mother-in-law out to dinner Friday night, taking my dad home (or at least to my sister Diana’s house) after that, and then pray that I get enough sleep before I leave on Saturday.

I’m having some anxiety about this, and I really want to resolve it before I leave. I’m nervous about seeing Ginger again. I haven’t seen her in over two and a half years, and that was only for a brief visit. I didn’t bother trying too hard to get in touch with her when we visited back in April because I didn’t much see the point in stretching our schedule to the point of breaking to see a person who probably didn’t want to see us in the first place.

But, things have changed in the past few months, so there’s no telling what’s going to happen. I’ve done a lot of healing, and I hope she has, too… it seems like that’s what she’s trying to do… but I can’t trust it unconditionally because I’ve been disappointed too many times in the past.

I think I’ll be making a post in Chandrahealing soon… the lj, I mean… and maybe on TrinaryHealing.org. It’s all about choices and decisions and expectations and egos and faith… soon…

4 Replies to “You betcha”

  1. Anxiety aside, I’m glad you’re doing okay. You hadn’t posted in awhile so I was wondering about you.

    I hate the music on myspace too. One of the main reasons I hardly ever go on there.

    Good luck on your trip, I hope it’ll go smoothly. 🙂

  2. The music on Myspace autoplays? Good thing I keep my computer muted. Though the one time I tried to listen to something it didn’t work, so maybe it doesn’t like Safari (one hopes).

    Good luck with the parents. 🙂

  3. This is going to seem strange coming from me of all people, but I’m sending good thoughts and prayers your way for a peaceful and smooth visit with Ginger. I’d bet my best shirt that you’re more grounded than she is at this point in time, and that will help you find the strength to face whatever happens. Not that will be easy, in light of the things she’s done and said to you in the past, but knowledge is strength and you’re a strong woman. Here’s sending you an extra hug for the trip.

    1. Finding peace with an estranged relative – especially a parent – is emotionally challenging, even for the most “evolved” among us, and I don’t always count myself in that category.

      It was… very interesting. And not in a bad way. Time will tell. I allowed myself to be open to the moment, to not give into expectations or anything like that, to appreciate what was offered and said at face value… and I think that allowed things to go well.

      In the end, I don’t know what this means, but it certainly explains the drive I had to take this trip on my own. I don’t think I could have devoted myself to the needs of the moment without being distracted, and I feel that let me get a lot of things taken care of.

      The funny thing about it is that I reached a peace with her within myself some time ago, and I figured that she would likely never come around to trying to find peace with me. It’s a strange, strange place to be… but not unnatural, although still highly unexpected.

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